Whod you bang
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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