How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
