Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
