its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
