He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
smell my finger.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
