I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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