I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
