Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
