And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
