I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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