I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
