i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
