Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
