Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
are you still at the devil's house?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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