dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
