this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Randomize
