It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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