You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
