This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
