how can u be prego again
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
