we have officially lost it.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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