She's JV to your varsity
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
