Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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