She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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