I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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