Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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