Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
