i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
