i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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