just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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