so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
