I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
