i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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