You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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