I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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