she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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