Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
