Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
