Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
