I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
