That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
