the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
