Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
