Whod you bang
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
