He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
