You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
