bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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