If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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