You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
time to smoke my breakfast
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
