I could make wine with my vomit
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
