im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
