I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
