if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
